1st Thanksgiving

We just had our first Thanksgiving as parents.  What a trip!  It started out a little rocky.  


Before my parents divorced a few years back, we always had a large Thanksgiving dinner at our house.  I think on average we would have 20-30 people.  Now that my parents are divorced it is held at one of my aunts' house.   This year it was decided that it would be held at Aunt T's house.  


A week or so before the big day my Mom and  her twin got into an argument with their twin sisters.  [Yes, my Grandma had two sets of twins.  Yikes!]  In dramatic fashion my Mom and her twin decided that they would hold an alternate Thanksgiving the weekend before the actual Thanksgiving.  So now we have Thanksgiving 1 at Aunt L's and Thanksgiving 2 at Aunt T's.  The ruse was that my Aunt L's husband and her twin daughters couldn't make it to Thanksgiving 2 so they had to have Thanksgiving 1.  They were hell bent that it wasn't fair to hold Thanksgiving 2 without Aunt L's family.  That Aunt T shouldn't have scheduled it without first checking to see if everyone could make it.  Seriously!  We have had it on the actual day of Thanksgiving every year...and have for the last 30 years!!  


Also, as if the drama wasn't ridiculous as it was, my Mother gave me an ultimatum.  She stated that she was not going to be spending the winter in Northern Michigan, (she wouldn't/won't tell me where/when she is going anywhere) and that if I didn't go to Thanksgiving 1 then my we weren't going to see her until the winter was over.  Neat.  


To add fuel to the fire I told my Mother a few days prior that she wasn't allowed to drink at my house anymore.  [The backstory here is that my Mother is an alcoholic and after leaving my father for one of his friends her tumultuous relationship has resulted in her not having a home of her own.  She is a gypsy of sorts.  Living with her boyfriend when they are getting along and living with either my Aunt L or myself when they are fighting.]  My Mother has been abusing the fact that we have a spare room in our home and that we have let her move some of her stuff in.  It started with her coming over once or twice a month and getting drunk on a weekend night.  No big deal at first...then it became once a week and at the end she had spent four nights at my house drinking.  Every time she came over and drank she was loud and banging around and having no respect for the fact that we have a six month old baby that was sleeping.  It really made her mad that I told her she wasn't allowed to drink in my home.  I had to build up the courage to tell her she wasn't allowed to drink but now I feel a sense of relief.  She hasn't tested me yet, but she hasn't been back to my house since then either.  I am dreading when she tests me...and she will.  I just have to keep telling myself that I will have to summon up the same courage I used to tell her that she couldn't drink at my house!  Having alcoholic parents is HARD!  


So to make a long story longer...


We had Thanksgiving 1 at my Aunt L's and it went well.  My Mom was in good spirits.  She was nice to everyone and didn't carry a major chip on her shoulder, as she is known to do when she is mad at people.  big N didn't come with us to Thanksgiving 1.  He had to work that Saturday and also didn't understand why we needed to hold two Thanksgivings.  He isn't into all the drama and basically took the stance that he was going to one Thanksgiving and that was going to be the one held on the actual day.  It was nice to see my Mom and be with some of the family.  Thanksgiving 1 didn't have all of the family but it was still a nice gathering.  It was fun because baby A is now eating.  She had a taste of many different foods, including beets and cranberry sauce.  After eating all that food she was plum-tuckered out.

Then we had Thanksgiving 2.  Guess who showed up?  All of Aunt L's family!  Grrr!  It was upsetting that all this drama surrounded Thanksgiving because Aunt L's family couldn't make it and then they all showed up!!  Even though it is frustrating it was still nice to have them all there.  


Everyone from my Mom's side of the family was there except my Mom and my cousin's son.  It was a nice time.  I wish my Mom wouldn't have been so bull headed.  Again, baby A had a taste of new food.  :)  She tried stuffing and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.  She had a big day.  We took a lot of great pictures.  My favorite picture is going to be our Christmas card.  


baby A met a milestone at Thanksgiving 2.  She sat unassisted.  

I love all the new things that happen in her life.  I was elated that we actually caught this one on film.  


So what have we learned...
Family is amazing and crazy at the same time.  That no matter how much drama and frustration they cause, spending the day with them and eating a big meal will bring out the best in everyone.  For all of our faults I love my family.

1st.Post.Ever.

Welcome.  This is my new outlet for all the jumbled up crazy things that happen in my life.  Currently I am 31 years old.  I am technically unmarried...I say technically because Michigan doesn't recognize common law.  I have been with big N for 8 years.  We just had our first child, baby A.  She was born on Mother's Day.  She just turned 6 months old.  I can't believe how fast she is growing up!  I have so much to say so I will start at the beginning (it's a very good place to start).

The following is the birth story I posted on my facebook page.

On Thursday May 6th (1 day after my due date) I left work early and went to the hospital. I had lost my mucus plug that morning in the shower (sorry if this is tmi you might want to stop now) and I had been leaking a small amount all day. I was worried that I was slowly leaking amniotic fluid. The nurse checked me and said that it wasn't my fluid and I had nothing to worry about so just go home. I asked her how dilated I was and she said she couldn't tell but that she knew I wasn't in labor so all I could do was go home. I was a little upset that she couldn't tell how dilated I was and she didn't get someone that could! So I went home and really didn't sleep well at all. On Friday I called into work because I just felt like crap and hadn't slept at all. I slept until noon (those were the days) and when I woke up I started having mild contractions. They were only 30 seconds long and anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour apart. I didn't fall asleep that night because the contractions were getting harder and shorter apart. I finally fell asleep around 5:30am on Saturday morning and woke up at 7am. The rest of the day I just sat around the house and the contractions went back down to an hour apart. At this point I figured it was NEVER going to happen. I was already three days overdue. My only happy thought was that no matter what, on Wednesday I was going to be induced so worse case scenario I would only be pregnant a few more days!

Saturday night my Mom came over and had dinner with big N and I. She was all excited because I was having contractions. She started monitoring them and that evening that started to become closer together. We started watching SNL with Betty White and around midnight my Mom and big N couldn't take it any longer and told me I had to go to the hospital. At this point my contractions were 5-6 minutes apart and lasting 2 minutes in duration. I called the hospital and told them we were coming in.  [Note: We live an hour away from the hospital] On the way there we had to stop for gas. I had forgot to get gas on my way home from work on Thursday so when we went to leave the house the gas light came on. big N was freaking because the nearest gas station that was open that late was in Petoskey! I made him stop on the way to the hospital to get gas. He thought that was crazy but you really don't mess with a woman in labor :) We got to the hospital at around 1am.

We got to the hospital and they hooked me up and talked to the doctor on call (Dr. Sypnewski) and said that this was it and I wasn't going home until I had a baby. At this point I was only dilated to 2 cm. I figured it was going to be a LONG night! big N was AWESOME! He totally helped me to do the breathing techniques we learned in our birthing class. He was by my side the entire time with good things to say. As I progressed he was ready with techniques to try to ease the pain. My good friend Susan and my Mom were also in the room. Susan was the rock in the room, whenever things got a little to intense I would hear her say that I was doing good. It seemed that whenever I just wanted to give up she had something to keep me moving forward. My Mom was just my rock the whole time. She did a little more talking than I would have liked and I let her know that at one point :) My Mom, big N and Susan were a perfect fit. If just one of them was missing I wouldn't have been able to make it through.

Around 10am I finally reached 10cm and started the fun process of pushing. This is when I had to have some drugs. I don't know exactly what they gave me but it was something in my iv. It really took the edge off. I still felt the pain but didn't really mind it. I pushed my freaking heart out for two hours. I pushed and pushed and pushed. At one point I had big N on one side and my nurse on the other pushing my legs up almost over my head. I also got really lucky because Petoskey doesn't have midwives anymore but I found out early on that the nurse on my shift used to be a midwife. She was great. I got a midwife just not technically :) So finally after two hours of pushing I was exhausted. I hadn't slept the night before or the night before that! It got to the point that I was pushing and then passing out. I would then come to during a huge contraction and try pushing again. They finally started to see the head. They showed my Mom and big N and they both confirmed it so I continued to push since I was so close. Then I just couldn't do it anymore! My body just couldn't continue on. I could feel it all the way through me! It was than that I asked the nurse what my options were. She said she would talk to the doctor. He came in and said that I had the option of a c-section and I said I would take it! He went over all the details with me and I think he and the nurse wanted me to try a little longer but I just knew that I couldn't continue on. So the decision was made and they started to get their team together. I figured that big N was disappointed in me because the entire pregnancy I was adamant about not having a c-section. I had so many emotions going through me but I knew I made the right decision and I was sticking to it.

So they wheeled me into the operating room and big N "suited up". They did the epidural and I was so exhausted and had already been in so much pain that I didn't even feel the needle!! And then it was all gone...no more pain, no more leg spasms from pushing, nothing. Just calm! They laid me down and put up a blue curtain and brought big N in. Then the Dr. got down to business. He had big N stand up when they pulled her out but then he had to sit back down. big N was so calming at that point. I was so worried that I would stop breathing from the epidural and he just sat there and talked me through it. When they took her out big N told me he saw the cord uncoil from around her and he knew something wasn't right. The doctor explained to us that the cord had been wrapped around A's body and was sort of "bungying" her back every time I pushed. That is why they kept seeing the head but it would never stay or come out. Because they were worried this had effected her they whisked her to the NICU for some quick tests. We didn't even know the sex yet! They brought the baby right back because nothing was wrong. I think she scored really low on her 1 minute apgar but her next one was normal so they weren't worried. Then we found out she was a girl and they gave her to big N and we both got to see her for the first time. We were both crying so hard I can't believe we even saw our little baby girl! I'm crying writing this because I am remembering the emotion of seeing this beautiful little person that we worked so hard to nurture for the last nine months! All the stretch marks and upset stomaches and sore backs were completely worth that moment of seeing her for the first time!

Then they stapled me back together, wheeled me into the recovery room and invited in the grandparents who had been waiting (un)patiently for their first peek too! It was just all perfect even though it went exactly as I didn't want it to go. Weird how life works out that way!!

So six months later we are still all one happy family...