Before my parents divorced a few years back, we always had a large Thanksgiving dinner at our house. I think on average we would have 20-30 people. Now that my parents are divorced it is held at one of my aunts' house. This year it was decided that it would be held at Aunt T's house.
A week or so before the big day my Mom and her twin got into an argument with their twin sisters. [Yes, my Grandma had two sets of twins. Yikes!] In dramatic fashion my Mom and her twin decided that they would hold an alternate Thanksgiving the weekend before the actual Thanksgiving. So now we have Thanksgiving 1 at Aunt L's and Thanksgiving 2 at Aunt T's. The ruse was that my Aunt L's husband and her twin daughters couldn't make it to Thanksgiving 2 so they had to have Thanksgiving 1. They were hell bent that it wasn't fair to hold Thanksgiving 2 without Aunt L's family. That Aunt T shouldn't have scheduled it without first checking to see if everyone could make it. Seriously! We have had it on the actual day of Thanksgiving every year...and have for the last 30 years!!
Also, as if the drama wasn't ridiculous as it was, my Mother gave me an ultimatum. She stated that she was not going to be spending the winter in Northern Michigan, (she wouldn't/won't tell me where/when she is going anywhere) and that if I didn't go to Thanksgiving 1 then my we weren't going to see her until the winter was over. Neat.
To add fuel to the fire I told my Mother a few days prior that she wasn't allowed to drink at my house anymore. [The backstory here is that my Mother is an alcoholic and after leaving my father for one of his friends her tumultuous relationship has resulted in her not having a home of her own. She is a gypsy of sorts. Living with her boyfriend when they are getting along and living with either my Aunt L or myself when they are fighting.] My Mother has been abusing the fact that we have a spare room in our home and that we have let her move some of her stuff in. It started with her coming over once or twice a month and getting drunk on a weekend night. No big deal at first...then it became once a week and at the end she had spent four nights at my house drinking. Every time she came over and drank she was loud and banging around and having no respect for the fact that we have a six month old baby that was sleeping. It really made her mad that I told her she wasn't allowed to drink in my home. I had to build up the courage to tell her she wasn't allowed to drink but now I feel a sense of relief. She hasn't tested me yet, but she hasn't been back to my house since then either. I am dreading when she tests me...and she will. I just have to keep telling myself that I will have to summon up the same courage I used to tell her that she couldn't drink at my house! Having alcoholic parents is HARD!
So to make a long story longer...
We had Thanksgiving 1 at my Aunt L's and it went well. My Mom was in good spirits. She was nice to everyone and didn't carry a major chip on her shoulder, as she is known to do when she is mad at people. big N didn't come with us to Thanksgiving 1. He had to work that Saturday and also didn't understand why we needed to hold two Thanksgivings. He isn't into all the drama and basically took the stance that he was going to one Thanksgiving and that was going to be the one held on the actual day. It was nice to see my Mom and be with some of the family. Thanksgiving 1 didn't have all of the family but it was still a nice gathering. It was fun because baby A is now eating. She had a taste of many different foods, including beets and cranberry sauce. After eating all that food she was plum-tuckered out.
Then we had Thanksgiving 2. Guess who showed up? All of Aunt L's family! Grrr! It was upsetting that all this drama surrounded Thanksgiving because Aunt L's family couldn't make it and then they all showed up!! Even though it is frustrating it was still nice to have them all there.
Everyone from my Mom's side of the family was there except my Mom and my cousin's son. It was a nice time. I wish my Mom wouldn't have been so bull headed. Again, baby A had a taste of new food. :) She tried stuffing and pumpkin pie with whipped cream. She had a big day. We took a lot of great pictures. My favorite picture is going to be our Christmas card.
baby A met a milestone at Thanksgiving 2. She sat unassisted.
So what have we learned...
Family is amazing and crazy at the same time. That no matter how much drama and frustration they cause, spending the day with them and eating a big meal will bring out the best in everyone. For all of our faults I love my family.
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